It’s a common story: two people who love one another commit their lives to each other and end up feeling disconnected. Maybe distant or constantly fighting. Somehow this person who once made you feel so loved now feels like the source of so much tension in your life. It feels like the harder you try, the worse things get.

If you and your partner have found yourselves in this situation, you are not alone. Couples have to navigate a seemingly endless list of difficult topics. From money to parenting, from in-law relationships to sex to room temperature. In addition, each partner’s past experiences and emotional wounds can affect the relationship. Including those from childhood and previous romantic relationships. Add all those to the mix and we’ve got countless opportunities for tension in our romantic relationships.

Attachment theory teaches us that our romantic relationships can be difficult because our romantic partner is the source of our comfort but can also be the source of our pain. All this is to say that relationships are hard!

When looking for a marriage or couples therapist we recommend finding someone with training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, which is the only validated couples therapy. Over 30 years of research have shown EFT to be effective with a variety of couples and issues. At The Family Therapy Clinic in American Fork UT, our couples therapists have continual training and supervision in Emotionally Focused Therapy.

You and your partner are definitely not alone in this hard space. Many couples need a little extra help to navigate the hard stuff in their relationships.

So how exactly does couples therapy work? Here’s an overview of what you can expect from Emotionally Focused marriage and couples counseling at The Family Therapy Clinic practice.

First Session for Marriage & Couples Counseling in American Fork, UT

Your marriage therapist will likely start the first session by going over your paperwork. Also, clinic policies and the limits of confidentiality (the fact that the therapist is a mandated reporter and what would constitute them making an abuse or neglect report). 

Then the therapist will start to get to know you and your partner and what brings you to therapy. As the therapist is gathering your history, they will also be starting to assess your conflict cycle, what happens when you fight, and how you typically make up. The therapist will be working hard to make both you and your partner feel comfortable.

Basic Tasks of EFT Couples Therapy in American Fork, UT

Emotionally Focused Therapy is a short-term (8-20 sessions) structured approach. As you move through therapy you will discuss arguments, hurts, and emotions during your sessions. Your therapist will be watching for patterns and cycles and will start to bring those patterns to the awareness of you and your partner. You will talk a lot about how you get into conflict, and how you get stuck there. You will also learn new ways of seeing each other and behaviors so it is easier for you to get unstuck.

The therapist will also help you create a secure bond, heal current/past hurts, and find new and more connecting ways of engaging.

The Relationship is the Client

With couples and marriage therapy, the relationship is seen as the client, not the individual partners. The therapist will likely have a no-secrets policy and will work to create a neutral space where each partner feels supported. It might feel like sometimes the session is focused more on your side of the cycle, or sometimes more on your partner’s side of the cycle. Overall, there should be a back and forth that feels balanced between both partners.

Completing Marriage and Couples Therapy in American Fork, UT

You, your partner, and your therapist are a team. Together you will determine when it is time to complete therapeutic treatment. Usually, you will know when it’s time to be done because you and your partner will be getting along better and feel more connected. You will also have a clear understanding of your conflict cycle and how to get out of it. Marriage and couples therapy is hard work. There are difficult emotions to sit through and learn to be more attuned to your and your partner’s needs. Emotionally Focused Therapy can help you and your partner get out of the conflict cycle and stay out of it.

Schedule Your Marriage Counseling in American Fork, UT today!

Are you and your partner facing challenges that seem difficult to solve? Is communication becoming a struggle rather than a joy? Rediscover love and connection by strengthening your relationship with couples counseling. The Family Therapy Clinic is here to help you navigate through the rough patches and reignite the spark in your relationship. Our experienced marriage counselors specialize in relationship dynamics and are dedicated to helping you both find common ground. Here’s all you need to do:

1. Contact us so we can get to know you and your partner a little better.
2. Start marriage counseling in American Fork, UT.
3. Watch your marriage thrive!

Other Counseling Services Our Mental Health Therapists Provide:

Marriage and couples counseling isn’t the only service we provide in our American Fork, UT practice. We know life is complicated and you may be working through more than one thing. Our mental health therapists provide services to cater to all of your needs. Our specialties include adult anxiety, adult depression, teen anxiety & depression, and post-divorce therapy.